Sam: The ONLY reason I'm reviewing this beer is because of my mission to review beers not available for the most part east of the Mississippi. I knew this was gonna be bad when I picked it up. Pale urine yellow, clear bottle just like Corona. Smells just as bad as Corona, and skunked, too, just to add to the pleasant experience. Tastes like sweat. Skunk sweat. Yummy. I'm getting stomach cramps writing this, just from the memory. I even shoved a lime wedge in one, to see if that would improve the flavor any. Yummy. Lime-flavored skunk sweat. How low I'll stoop for you people. Sigh... (9/9/2006)


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Tim: This the flagship beer that made SAB rich. It's aggressively marketed all across Africa, definitely a mass produced beer. I feel like I should hate it but I've always liked it, and I still do. It's an easy drinking lager with a good beer taste, simple but good. This beer is made with maize and you can taste a little bit of sweetness in the beer because of it. Perhaps it is that subtle taste difference that makes me like this better than a lot of the average lagers. The aftertaste is minimal as is the aftermath of drinking a few of these. It's stayed clear of being overly carbonated and chemical tasting which is generally the downfall of mass produced mega brews. Overall this is an enjoyable lager and worth giving a chance. (8/13/2002)


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Steve: And with a second beer reviewed on TOBP, El Salvador has finally achieved status of TOBP Statehood which is a lot harder to gain that United Nations recognition. This fact is actually more monumental than the beer itself. The beer is a basic bland, flavorless lager, filled with adjuncty goodness, and might not even be decent for those hot summer days. If it was Mexican, it would have a clear bottle. So, let's all raise our glass and toast El Salvador, just don't do it with Pilsener 100. (1/30/2010)


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Steve: It's tough being Hungarian. You like tourists, but they keep showing up in armored tank divisions. The last time you were part of an empire, you played second fiddle to a country that's best known for being the setting of a Julie Andrews movie, and the last time your people actually intimidated anyone, your leader was a psycho named Attila. Plus, smart-asses everywhere think your countrymen are nothing but a bunch of swarthy Gypsies, prone to stealing, palm-reading and high-wire circus tricks. And, you're better known for wine then beer, much like the French. So, when you're sitting in your home, dwelling on your inferiority complex, take heart: Hungarians can indeed brew a good beer. While it's not their bread and butter, it's done with the care and quality that is more often seen across the border in the Czech Republic. If lounging in a spa in Budapest, or chilling along the Danube, you can do so with a quality Hungarian beer, Dreher. It's no Czechvar, but when in Hungary, do as the (mad) Hungarians. (8/13/2005)


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Steve: Efes Pilsner is probably the most well-known product from Efes, Turkey, after of course the Book of Ephesians in the Bible. As you can guess, then, not a lot of significant things came from Efes, particularly this beer. I have to give kudos to Turkey in how they've maintained separation of church & state that a predominantly Muslim nation is also a beer-brewing nation (probably because they've been brewing beer since before Mohammed existed). Unfortunately, Efes is a modern light lager, loaded with rice adjuncts, and comes across with a strong metallic taste. It comes in a cool brown bottle with the word Efes raised in the glass, but that's about it. Surely some tool out there will say that Efes goes great with Turkish food, but in reality, if Efes does, then so will Becks, Carta Blanca, Labatt, and Yuengling. There just isn't anything special about this, and in fact the most pleasure I'll get from Efes is the fact that Kris has to track yet another country in TOBP.com. (1/16/2010)


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Steve: A very surprising beer. It actually had flavor. It had noticeable hop content. It has some kind of howling rooster on the label, which is much more impressive then Costa Rica's ass-wiping eagle. And, I know more Guatemalans than any other Central American nationality (I played soccer with 2 of them, both of whom are exceptionally cool), so this beer gets a nod for many reasons. Not all of them to do with the actual beer, but if you don't like that, then tough. Start your own beer page. (1/16/2010)


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Kris: Crap. Utter crap. I'd like to say "Bud in a green bottle", but Bud has more taste. Short history lesson: "Hairoun" means "Land of the Blessed", and is what the Caribs call St. Vincent. I think it's also a synonym for "crap beer", but I can't be positive. Hairoun the beer is also St. Vincent's Prize Winning Lager, winning Gold in Brussels in 1993. I'm guessing Hairoun was the only beer entered, hence the gold. Seriously, this beer really sucks. Piss has more color and more taste (don't ask). Hopefully you can't find this where you are. (12/8/2007)


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Rocky: This is named after a famous Indian in Cuba, and was originally brewed there. Its sort of like a decent Mexican beer. I'd put it in the same class as a Dos Equis: above Corona, below Carta Blanca. It doesn't suck, but I'm glad I bought a single and not a six-pack. (2/21/2004)


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Steve: I really loved this beer, but not for the taste. I loved it because it's from such an obscure beer-producing country, it's a pain in the ass for Kris because now it's one more country he has to keep track of. So, Hekwap will sit, rotting away in the purgatory of "Other Countries," waiting for the off-chance that this predominantly Muslim country has other beers. I checked out the brewery on the internet, and apparently several breweries are in a bidding war when this brewery privatizes, among them Heineken, Interbrew, Carlsberg and SABMiller. I guess they don't have enough crap in their portfolios? Don't get me wrong, Hekwap didn't kill me, but Serbia didn't invade Bosnia for it's beer, let me say that much. (9/3/2005)


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Steve: The label is oh-so Germanic, with some fierce looking bird, colored black, with outstretched wings. And at that point, the wheels fall off the wagon. Upon closer look, the bird looks like it's a weird turkey and exotic bird combination, and it's holding a towel in its talons in a manner indicative of someone doing a two-handed ass-wiping motion with a towel. Oh, and speaking of ass-wiping, while going for the Germanic lager look with the label, they went with a taste similar to Mexico's clear-bottle lagers (Corona, Sol, etc). All packaged in a brown bottle. So yeah, I didn't think too highly of this. It's like the copied all the wrong parts of different beers. Oh, one last thing. Imperial? Seriously? The Empire of Costa Rica? Are you kidding me? (10/18/2008)


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Steve: The most satisfying part about this beer is the "Oh Shit" Kris will utter at the frustration of yet another country being represented on TOBP (Yes, Kris, San Marino is a country...Wiki it, it's tiny but it's there!). Considering the country has fewer residents than SAB or Inbev has employees, I don't think we're going to see too many other breweries pop up there. La Puténa is a Doppio Malto (double malt), similar in taste and consistency to a Doppelbock. It's fairly malty, as the name suggests, but pours kind of flat. It comes in a novelty flip-top bottle, which I'm betting is the reason for at least half of its sales. Due to its price, I don't find too many redeeming qualities. (1/17/2011)


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Steve: This is the first beer I've ever had from a country better known for figure skaters, nuclear meltdowns and rampant alcoholism. You'd think a country with so many drunks would have better tastes in beer. But then I remembered Budweiser's overwhelming popularity. This is certainly drinkable, but it's also forgettable as one of just many eastern European lagers. The most memorable thing about this beer is that we finally welcome Ukraine to TOBP. So, umm, welcome. (8/13/2006)


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Steve: There is really only one reason why I purchased Oppigårds Winter Ale. OK, maybe two reasons. One, all I needed to see was that it was made in Sweden. YES! Another country for Kris to add. Or, more to the point, NOT add (16+ years of doing this, this is the first beer from Sweden I've seen). Personally I think eliminating all Nordic countries and creating "Scandinavia" would be easier, but I think until I learn how to do the editing, I doubt that will happen. Oh, and reason two, that Swedish letter "å" which will make people wonder how the hell to pronounce it. I think it makes it sound like an "o", so it might read like Oppigords. But I could also be making that up. Anyway, this is malty and sweet, with caramel and toffee notes, but not particularly alcoholic for a winter ale. Then again it's almost always winter in Sweden, where they pretty much need vodka or akvavit in order to keep from freezing to death, so maybe beer is a nice summery beverage when it's less winter than other times of year. In other words the parts of winter when the sun shines, like June and July, instead of the 20 hours of darkness the rest of the year. I kid of course. I'm just happy to be able to talk about Sweden for once! Anyway, if you want to see Scandinavia better-represented, just let Kris know, he'll get right on it. (4/8/2013)


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Sam: I saw this at Albertson's, not the best place for beer selection. The label was new to me, but at $5.99 for a six pack, I was a little worried. Tried it just the same. Not that bad, actually. In fact, it was pretty good. Golden color, nice little bite and fair amount of hops. Not at all anything like the sweat-in-a-bottle flavor of so many Mexican beers. Looks like the Peruvians put some time, thought, and effort into this brew. I'll have this beer again, soon. (4/17/2004)


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Steve: This is a basic Latin American pilsner, comparable to many Mexican beers, or even Red Stripe. Crisp taste, light flavor, much better cold than warm. Better than Corona, not as good as any decent FEMSA beer. I'm told by readers that Dominicans hang out on their porches and drink this...is that like our trailer park residents hanging out drinking Natty Light? (7/31/1998)


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Sam: Ah, yes. The six pack carrier is stamped with "Patagonian Cool Beer." Perhaps that's to get us thinking of the mountainous region of Argentina where Harry Longabaugh and Robert LeRoy Parker went to escape the Pinkertons and live a quiet life, before (supposedly) meeting their violent end in Bolivia. The bottle's got a cool blue label with mountains, and their website is flashy with skiers and dancers. Sounds like Argentina is getting on the marketing bandwagon. Cynicism aside, this beer doesn't totally suck. Better than Cristal, not quite as good as Negra Modelo. If you see this, you might want to try it at least once. (4/2/2005)


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Steve: This was such a pleasant beer to drink, I'm not sure I can describe it. I've heard so many people talk about how wonderful Baltic porters are. The head foamed up to look like a beautiful whipped chocolate mousse, and the beer was like drinking one of those fancy $4 cups of coffee. It had a sweet malty flavor, but you could feel the hops punching through a little, and it had this lingering coffee like flavor, and everything combined warmed me up so much that I was inspired to write one of those beer calendar reviews. So here it is. (4/15/2006)


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Steve: The bottle proclaims this as being a malt liquor, and I now know why self-respecting people don't drink malt liquor...because it sucks. Now, there could be a scientific explanation that the splineless weenies who like Anchor Steam would throw at you, in that it didn't travel well, or the gold (yes, GOLD) bottle absorbed too much sunlight, or I should give it another shot, but I think it just sucks. OK, so Thailand is pretty far away, and maybe it went skunky on the container ship. But it still sucks. If you're in Thailand, try it, but if you're in a civilized country, stick with Bud or Coors (yeah, it's that bad).


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Rocky: I must admit I am pleasantly surprised. I figured that being the most popular beer in Singapore was akin to being the most popular bathing suit in the North Pole, but this isn't bad. It's very smooth, but then so is water...a beverage this beer has a lot in common with. Maybe it's my fault for trying it in February, as I'm sure it would be a nice thirst quencher in the summertime. If you're in Singapore, enjoy! If not, don't dare pay import prices for this stuff. (7/17/2004)


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Steve: Ah ha ha, the bane of Kris' beer existence, a new country added! Although I'm not likely to find another Nicaraguan beer, so it'll be stuck in "Other Countries" in perpetuity. This is probably the biggest tragedy of years of civil war, they were too busy fighting for democracy and not busy enough brewing decent beer. Toña is simply no better than the lesser light lagers throughout North America (Corona, Coors, etc). Straw-colored, thin-flavored, with a tad of a lemon flavor, but I bet that was accidental. (9/6/2008)


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Tim: "Kenya is my country, Tusker is my beer" or so their advertising slogan goes. This beer has been brewed since 1922 and is good quality. It tastes best cold and is certainly refreshing. It's got a mild aftertaste, but it is an ordinary tasting lager. Nothing overly special about it, but it's still better tasting that most mass produced North American lagers. (1/18/2003)


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Steve: You've GOT to be friggin' kidding me. Here in Atlanta, I can't get Victory, New Belgium, or Goose Island, but I can a mega brew from Bulgaria? BULGARIA? Oh, COME ON!!! This is such crap! Somehow, some importer figured out how to get a beer from an obscure country which most Americans either have never heard of or confuse with Bolivia, but you can't figure out how to get Dogfish Head from freakin' DELAWARE?!!! Son of a BITCH! Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the worst beer in the world...kind of like a stale version of DAB, but I fail to see how this was worth the effort of shipping all the way from Eastern Europe. (10/15/2005)


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Sam: "Wiping the sweat off my brow as I hacked my way through the impenetrable underbrush, I suddenly came upon the entrancing vista of Victoria Falls, cascading down the vast cliff face and fading into mist as it merged into the verdant forests; my guide, whose name was an unpronouncable series of glottal stops, reached over his head and pulled from the cooler he was portaging...a Zambezi Lager. Breaking two teeth as he opened it with his mouth..." Unfortunately, I bought this from a liquor store in Waco, Texas. Damned few verdant forests here. Still, this was a passable beer. Pretty decent European lager taste. Comparable to a Tennent's. Ice cold, it's downright good. I'm not sure I'd return to this again and again, but if you see it for the first time in your beer cooler, reach for it. (2/27/2004)


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