Steve: Afanasy is the first beer I've ever had from Russia proper. It took some courage to try it, because past excursions into beer brewed by former Soviet states have not gone well. Plus, on the back it had "Best Before" with all the numbers and letters indicating month and year, but none of them were checked, which can't be good. However, I have to say that it was decent, and I did enjoy it. It had a very sweet, toffee-like taste to it, but it went down smooth, a lot like a stronger German dark beer. One distinctive thing I should mention is the incredibly gay-looking guy on the label, blond hair and beard, garish clothing, bright hat, on a Viking ship. Very funny. (7/24/2004)

Sam: Plocha. Ochen plocha. Zhal. Sorry, fellas. This is just Russian malt liquor. Word to yer peeps. (8/26/2006)

Sam: Dreadful. A drain-pour. (6/30/2007)

Sam: This is my very first Baltic porter, so I have no basis of comparison; please forgive my newbieness. I thought it was...nice. A little rough around the edges, kind of a harsh roastiness to it, but nicely hopped. Jet black in the glass. Of the various Baltika offerings I've tried so far, this is the only one I'd ever try again. (9/8/2007)

Steve: Wow, a Baltika that I beat Sam to...and one to which I can assure you Sam would deliver a scathing review, as it's a wheat ale, and wheat ales are Sam's kryptonite. 'E 'ates 'em, 'e does. However, I liked it. It was a halfway decent Weizen-style (sorry, my policy on research forbids me from finding the Russian word for wheat ale, and besides, I'm not about to waste time pulling the cyrillic letters from Character Map to write it anyway). It was light, with a slight lemon background. The head foamed up quickly regardless of the pour, more so than the German versions. I would call this above average. Stand by for Sam's review, which will undoubtedly include a lot of bad Russian words he pulled from Babel Fish. (3/1/2009)

Sam: Not too terribly bad, actually. If you've ever had Kozel, that's kind of what it reminded me of. My only beef about the Baltika is, at 8% abv, the alcohol really packs a punch. The alcohol flavor penetrates and dominates the otherwise pleasant maltiness. I would've enjoyed this much more if it'd clocked in at maybe 6% or so. Still, it wasn't too bad. (10/6/2007)

Steve: I wasn't aware that the Colgate-Palmolive company was in the beer brewing business. Nice to see they branched out. Now if only they could get the beer to taste more like beer, and less like one of their own products. (For those on whom the subtlety is lost, the beer tasted like dish soap.....8.4% ABV dish soap). (8/13/2006)

Steve: Probably the most poorly named beer I've ever had. Doctor Diesel? WTF? It sounds like a malt liquor from hell, and all their ads should have a bunch of gang-banger types sitting around a hoopty-mobile with the hydraulic shocks and the back seat taken up by a giant speaker, and all they say is "Oooh yeah, bitches." Amazingly enough, it's like a name/quality paradox. I fully expected this to be one of the suckiest beers out of the thousand that we've reviewed, and instead found it quite good. It had a lemon flavor, similar to one you'd find in a wheat beer, but it's clearly malted barley all the way. It comes in a half-liter bottle at 6.9% abv, but you really wouldn't know it. It has flavor, body, some alcohol, overall a decent lager. Don't let the name fool you, it's a session beer but still a decent beer. Bitches. (11/20/2005)