Steve: Normally, I stay away from Chinese beer. Not that I hate the Chinese....on the contrary, their food is great, and they have excellent Olympic athletes in gymnastics and diving. They just really really suck at making beer. Nothing personal, they just can't make a decent, drinkable beer. But then again, neither can the French or a certain brewing conglomerate in St Louis, Missouri. This beer once again solidified my beliefs in Chinese beer. It was in the fridge of one of those bars that carries about 100 bottles, and it was sitting with only half the lable visible, right next to Red Stripe (and it was a little dark). So, my first thought was, it was Dragon Light, related to Dragon Stout, a sister beer of Red Stripe. WRONG! No such thing! This was Red Dragon Light, a crappy Chinese beer (sorry, that's redundant, like Smelly French and "That whiny piece of crap Eric Lindros"). I was drinking it with my co-workers, and they all laughed at the really wrinkled face I made. This must be what that guy in the Keystone commercials drank (Ahhh, bitter beer face!). They all then wanted a taste, so it went around the table, where they all made similar Elephant Man-like faces. Worth the price of the bottle. By the time it made it back to me, it was 2/3 empty, so that was a bonus. The moral of this story is, Eric Lindros is a whiny piece of crap. Who probably drinks Chinese beer (Canadian beer would probably give him another concussion). (9/22/2001)


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Sam: Well, at least this review has been a learning experience. The beer is pronounced "Ching-dow", so apparently I've been mispronouncing it, which I suppose makes me an imperialist-capitalist dog. It's the "number one beer in China" according to their website, whatever the hell that means. And apparently there are 600 breweries in China. Do they all brew beer? Sake is actually "brewed" as well, so that number may be taking liberties. Regardless of the geography/culture lesson, one fact remains incontrovertible: "Ching-dow" sucks. Very skunky, since they insist on bottling it in green bottles, so the beer has plenty of opportunity to oxidize on the long trip over. Once you get past the overwhelming skunkiness, you're left with a weak pilsner approximately the flavor of flat Beck's. An unprepossessing beer, at best. Perhaps if you were eating Szechuan, and needed something to put out the fire, this beer wouldn't be inappropriate--if ice cold. Or, if you had to choose between Tsingtao or Yanjing, or a cyanide capsule, then choose Tsingtao (Yanjing isn't fit for consumption). Otherwise, just drink water. (10/29/2005)


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Sam: The label lists this as "China's Official State Ale." That alone gave me vague intestinal rumblings. The anemic yellow urine color did little more to assuage my fears. But what the hell. I'm by the pool, it's a broiling hot Mississippi Gulf Coast afternoon. Buffett's on the boom box, and we're all knockin' back a few. I figure, how bad could it be? Well, in one word, BAD. Having just tried and reviewed Mickey's, I have to say, Yanjing tastes like malt liquor. Really rank malt liquor. As my throat tightened on trying to get the rest of this down, I tried to imagine teenage Chinese homeys guzzling this poison and saying, "My niggas be enjoyin' this shizzle." That ludicrous picture was about the only thing that got me through half the bottle. At that point, discretion became the better part of valor, and I poured the rest out. Jeez Louise, somebody hand me a Bass. Wanna know the worst part? I shelled out $7.99 for this train wreck. Obviously, someone I dislike intensely will get the gift of the rest of this six pack. (2/12/2005)


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