Home > Beer Reviews > Non-Alcoholic Brews
Guest Review - Chris J: A rather dissapointing brew. The big name of Heineken is the lone promotion of this N/A brew. Tastes like it sat on the shelf for several years: metallic, bitter, but not at all like it's good alcoholic brother.
Guest Review - Chris J: Very watered down, flat taste. Still better than O'Douls. (11/8/1998)
Guest Review - Chris J: Brewed by the same German Purity Law as it's alcoholic cousins, this beer does not dissapoint. Crisp, clean and bitter, quite refreshing! The highest price of any N/A beer, but well worth it!
Coors Brewing Co
Guest Review - Chris J: Surprise! One of the worst brewing companies in the USA has brought us the best US N/A beer! (well, at least by US standards!) Smooth, watered-down Coors taste eliminates the typical dry-cardboard feel of other US N/A brews. At least they tried!!
Sam: Never thought I'd be reviewing a near-beer. After disastrous encounters with O'Douls, Sharps, and Cutter, I pretty much had sworn off the stuff. But this burnt fool's fingers wobble slowly back to the fire as I pick up one of my wife's Gerstels. Hello--quite lovely golden yellow color, malty aroma. Surprisingly delicious, even if lacking the pleasing alcohol bite. Folks, there may be the rare time in your beer-drinking careers when you really want one, but know better than to risk the alcohol. If you still want the beer taste--and this time, I'm serious, TASTE--pick up a six-pack of Gerstel. This is worth having in your beer fridge. (12/18/2004)
Guest Review - Chris J: Thick, rich and absolutely wonderfull!! Leave it to the great Guinness brewers to make the best N/A brew in the world! Not for the O'Doul's O'Idiots! Definitely for the Real Beer drinker! No alcohol??? Could fool anyone!
G. Heileman Brewing Co
Guest Review - Chris J: Ingredients include corn. Not bad really. Kind of bland, but has a unique taste among NA brews. (11/8/1998)
Guest Review - Chris J: "Now richer and smoother" says the label. Richer? YES! Smoother? Well, yes, I guess (I've never understood the word "smooth" when applied to beer. Does it mean bland or malty?) Anyway, Cascades and Saaz hops are now used to push O'Doul's into a rating of 6. (10/2/1999)
Steve: I sampled this at T&A’s, a strip club in New York State, a juice bar chock full of whores, strippers, and the stench of lives wasted and money poorly spent (aka The Stench of Whores). And since it’s full-nude, there is no alcohol (a good thing, since the whores would undoubtedly take you for even MORE money), so you must settle for water, soda or O’Douls. All in all, not bad, so if you want to look at whores dancing while sober (you, not the whores…the whores are probably hopped up on goofballs), this will accompany such debauchery nicely. (8/14/2004)
Guest Review - Chris J: Wow! A pleasant surprise. Caramel malts add flavor to the cardboard king. Definitely drinkable. Hopefully Amber cases will replace this brands awful O'Doul's premium on the shelves. Please pray with me..!
Old Milwaukee N/A
Stroh Brewery Co
Guest Review - Chris J: This awful brew contains corn syrup, sodium isoascorbate and potassium metabisulfite! Has a sickly sweet after taste much like a cola soft drink. Just as bad as O'Douls. (11/8/1998)
Pabst Brewing Co
Guest Review - Chris J: Another typical American NA beer. Has a long, dirty, citric after taste. Fortunately, the after taste diminishes somewhat after 3 or 4 cans. It would be really cool to see a good American brewery like Boston Co. produce some quality NA brews. They probably wont though. I may be the only guy who drinks this stuff. (11/8/1998)
Sam: My wife indulged my occasional craving for German food, and we all went to Wurstmarkt recently. After our meal, we browsed the adjacent grocery. I picked up a few odds and ends I'd had before from their cooler, but noticed this new alcohol-free product and felt obliged to give it a try. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Malty and crisp, golden yellow but not too fizzy. There's no alcohol bite, which is disappointing as always with NAs, but it was still a very enjoyable beverage. If you must go alcohol-free, but you're really craving beer flavor, this will fit the bill nicely. (5/27/2006)
Miller Brewing Co
Guest Review - Chris J: Hmmm. How to rate this so-called beer...Better than O'Doul's...yet has an undescribable bad taste. How about: slightly better than the worst! (9/22/2001)
Guest Review - KennyNC: If I ever drank a Miller product by choice, it would involve wanting to get drunk at a reasonable price. This product offers neither benefit. Call me sexist, but when I see a girl drink this, I think, "Very responsible of her to be the designated driver." When I see a guy drink it, I think, "He needs his ass kicked." (9/22/2001)
St. Pauli N/A
St. Pauli Brauerei
Guest Review - Chris J: Even better than Kaliber! Less hoppy than Clausthaler, and slightly cheaper. Great beer for those who enjoy Beck's and Heineken (I admit I'm one of them). And of course, there's that attractive German girl on the label. (11/8/1998)
Warsteiner Premium "Fresh"
Warsteiner Brauerei Haus Cramer
Steve: This had a distint metallic taste to it. Do any of our readers know where that comes from? If it's a sign of deterioration, that's one thing. If it's bad quality, that's different. All I know is, this was a hard one to swallow, the half that I was able to drink. Then, my 10-month old daughter knocked the glass over and spilled the rest. I was more upset in the mess, than losing this beer. I wasn't too heartbroken about not being able to finish it. Maybe if it didn't taste like I licked a railing. (8/26/2001)
Kris: Thanks to some dickhead who has nothing better to do but rag on us for making mistakes, this beer has been moved to the Non-Alcoholic section. Hey ass-grabber, get a life. Like you never make a mistake. (everyone else: read the guestbook to see what I'm talking about).